Money Doesn't Grow on Trees

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Making movies is not the glamorous Hollywood lifestyle that People Magazine makes it out to be. Also, not everyone who is a filmmaker or actress is making good money. Or any money. Yes, there are the Jolie-Pitts of the world who make one film a year and can support their brood of children and give into whatever materialistic whims they may desire.
For the rest of us mere mortals, we don't do this for the money. I've worked countless jobs for no pay. It's not a great way to live your life and it isn't sustainable. However, when the right project comes along, you do what you can to get it done, especially if a friend or connection is involved and has asked for your help.

I'd like to take this opportunity to thank the countless people who have thus far donated their time and talents to this project. Let's hope that "deferred pay" is, in fact, just deferred.

Any and all expenses that have been incurred, including equipment, wardrobe, props, food, transportation, have come directly out of the pockets of the production team. One day of work at my day job may cover the minor incidental expenses of a weekend of shooting. Actually it's probably closer to two days, but it's worth it. And luckily, I don't have to support a brood of children. Thank goodness for good choices.

Sometimes large, unexpected expenses come up, but for the most part we're banking a lot on good fortune and favors. When such situations arise sometimes the only solution, because of time constraints, is to throw money at it. But I'm not a sucker. I may be desperate but I'm not stupid. I've had a top of the line sound guy donating his time and the use of his gear for the last two weeks and even though I'm cold-calling you from a network of film professionals that does not mean I'm going to give into your absolutely ridiculous requirement of a $900/day rate. Forget you dude. You better be able to magically erase the inevitable buzz of the fluorescent lights on the pool deck before I even consider paying you half of that. You're out of your ever-loving mind.

I would also like to express some frustration when it comes to insurance and locations. I get it. You have to cover your... assets. You don't know me or my crew and you can't take a risk. But I gotta tell you, we don't have the equipment to cause any sort of damage. You're asking me to pay $500 for $300k worth of insurance when we can't possibly cause that level of damage. Unless my hair straightener can some how burn down the whole building, I think we're in the clear. We have no lights, cords, c-stands, sand bags, dollies or dolly tracks. We have a guy with a camera, a sound guy with his own gear, one hair dryer, one hair straightener, one computer that doesn't even have wifi and a bunch of props and wardrobe. What could possibly happen? I spill coffee on the floor, someone slips, accidentally knocks into a desk which goes flying through the window? That can't possibly even cost $1,000. And if it does, I'll pay it. If that strange and completely random series of event occurs, I will gladly pay reparations. Bottom line: not gonna happen.

Excuse me while I go knock on every piece of wood in the building, throw salt over my left shoulder, then search for a rabbit's foot and a penny on the ground. 

Locations are notoriously expensive because chances are you have to shut down the regular business in order to use the space. We're looking for a bar in order to shoot some scenes. We need the McClaren's to our HIMYM, the Central Perk to our Friends. I had a great idea that we use the a local catering hall that has a bar in it and make it into a pub-looking venue with some set deck and lighting. Bonus: it's in my home town and my dad is friends with a bunch of the guys who are part of the group who uses it. Thank you for good fortune, ingenuity and connections. So I called the guy in charge of reserving the hall. Talk about a cold shoulder. I get that you don't know about film-making but I'm not trying to screw you and your club house. I'm merely asking questions to see if you might be open for negotiations. I guess it doesn't help that I sound like a kid on the phone because this guy was treating me like some high school girl who had no idea what she was doing. I'm a professional dude. Ask questions, don't make assumptions. And even though I had character references, he would not budge on the rental cost. Fair enough, but did you really have to add that you "don't want to bring this kind of request to the board of trustees"? Now you're being a jerk. *end rant*

Most of us are doing this for love, not for money. You don't spend two hours in a freezing cold pool, doing the same lap and saying the same line over and over again because of the glamour. I would love to be independently wealthy and pay everyone exactly what they're worth and more. But until my money tree decides to sprout Benjamins we're all in this un-glamorous, poor excuse for a lifeboat together.