Resurrection

I thought this chapter was over. I thought the door had been closed, locked and deadbolted behind me. I had had a good run but I couldn’t take it. It’s not that I wasn’t good at the work, it was that my life wasn’t my own. Every minute not working was spent looking for work or feeling guilty about not looking, because you never know when that next gig may pop up or that next connection may come through.

Two years ago, after working for three weeks on what should have been my most professional, highest paying script supervisor jobs, I got cheated. I was not paid for my three weeks of work on that project, nor has anyone else I understand. Despite court rulings and subpoenas, I’m still without the money due to me. (This is a whole other story in itself and a long one at that). So I walked away. How can I continue to work and devote my time and energy day after day with no money? That’s how dreams die. And I thought mine had.

Luckily, about that time a new dream was found, so I didn’t have time to mourn the loss of the old one. I’ve been working the last two years in the Visual Department at Macy’s. Or as I refer to it Art and Crafts for Adults, or Retail Production Design. Plus when you’re five months away from being kicked off your parent’s medical insurance, benefits sound like a dream, and a good one.

I now have work/life balance, stability, a social life (I know, crazy right?); I’m actually saving money and being a real life adult. Sure I live with my parents and work two jobs, but these days, who doesn’t? Bottom line: My life is mine and I’m happy. No kidding. I don’t miss family events, weddings or college reunions because I have to be on set. I don’t have to turn down plans because I can’t afford a night out. I get to go on vacation. Like real ones. And get PAID! Side bar: if you have never had vacations days you will never understand the glory of sitting poolside in the Dominican Republic drinking frozen margaritas and getting PAID. I hope everyone has a chance to experience this at least once in their life. Pure bliss.

And yet, something was missing. I didn’t realize it for awhile but no matter how many ninja stars from clothes hangers I made, or tissue paper flowers I created, there was a hole that couldn’t be filled.

Six months ago, Kate, my coworker from the Y where I teach, had an idea. We had realized that a vast majority of us were working at the Y because of it’s flexibility. It allows us to make good money when we need to and drop shifts for conflicts. That was because many of us were pursuing others dreams during our real lives but we needed this job to bankroll it. Actress, director, scientist, carpenter, architect. We’re a group of major over achievers who have picked seriously difficult industries to break into and somehow swinging drinks on weekends was just not going to cut it for us. So we teach kids life skills and we save lives. And this is just our side jobs. Like I said, over achievers.

The idea was that we combine our talents and make our own show. Even if nothing comes from it, it will be fun and we will gain experience and have something to show for it. The concept for this show? Us. And on a bigger scale, Millennials. A comedic portrayal of our experiences and how they either crush or reinforce all the stereotypes of generation Y.

I’m not going to lie. I wasn’t just hesitant at the prospect of such a project, I was against it. I felt like she was unknowingly opening a wound that had just scabbed over. I started by blowing her off. Then as she persisted I asked questions.

“So who do you plan to get to write this?”

“Us.”

“I don’t write” except for a blog a couple of years ago and a password protected journal that no one will ever read.

“Why not?” Damn, good question.

And who’s going to be in it?”

“All of us. Plus anyone else who wants to be involved. There have to be a ton of actors and crew members that are dying to be a part of something fun and well written.” Crap! Another good answer. My facebook is filled with old connections from the business who would relish a chance like this.

She had all the answers to shut me down and as a result, the wheels in my head that had begun to rust, started to turn again. Ideas, scenes, and characters started to form in my mind and soon more people showed interest and were involved. And I started to write. LIttle by little that  hole I hadn’t even recognized, was starting to be filled. I don’t know at what point I really signed on and started to fight for this like Kate had from the beginning, but it was probably the first time someone said “No”.

We wanted to be on the up-and-up with our place of employment, because we’re stand up employees and we didn’t want to guerrilla shoot a show about them, on their own property without their knowledge. Looking back, asking permission instead of forgiveness was not the best course of action, because they said, “No.” Yet, that just spurred me on.

So now it’s written. 10 out of 13 episodes are just about production ready and we’re casting. It’s real, but the best part is that it’s on my timeframe. I do this when I want to, when I need that creative outlet or the ideas won’t stay in my head anymore. And that door that I thought I had deadbolted two years ago is wide open and I’ve stepped through it.

If anyone would like more information about the show, including casting, or if you would like to be a part of the production, feel free to contact me or email thisiswhyproduction@gmail.com. And be sure to come back and read the blog for updates on the production.