If you've ever been to any kind of audition, or even a job interview, you know how stressful the whole process is. Well, try being the person who has to make the casting decision, the one who has to make dreams crumble. Not fun. I mean, it is because you're finally seeing your characters come alive and the production come together but sometimes you have to tell people they just aren't the right fit. And sometimes it's for really crappy reasons. (Disclaimer: We have not actually cast anyone yet, and these are not the real reasons for us casting or not casting a particular person. I'm making this up to show how completely ridiculous the process can be. Please don't hate me).
"I don't like their eyebrows."
OR
"They're not as tall as I expected that character to be."
OR
"Would this character really date this person?"
OR
"They're too perfect."
That's right. You can be black, white, brown, red-headed, blonde, brunette, skinny, fat, average.... and too perfect.
Have you ever read a book and pictured the characters, then when they made a tv/movie version you hated it purely because of casting? Now imagine you wrote the book and you can't find the character you pictured in real life. The struggle is real. Production has to start, you have to pick someone, and somehow you will always be disappointing someone. The fact that this is a no-pay project also cuts down on the candidates so you may find the absolute perfect person and they might not want to do it.
Bonus!! The union. Let's take an already staggeringly difficult process and add a union. I understand the benefits for all involved. I do. I, myself, looked into getting into IATSE for script supervision back in the day. The problem I have is the incredible complexities involved in the paperwork! Do I submit it now before I cast in order to get SAG/AFTRA performers to audition? Or do I wait, see if I need anyone from the union and do it later? Well, when you submit, they ask for a cast list, so that's confusing. And the help line doesn't specify when to do it. They're just generally vague and only slightly helpful. Holy misnomer Batman. How bout "The-only-slightly-helpful-desk"?
This part is not fun!! I just magically want the perfect people to sign on and be done with it! Is that so much to ask?
We started our casting by reaching out to friends and connections from previous work. Thank you social media. And we got some really strong responses. But this is a number's game; the more you have the better the options, right? Actually sometimes more is just more. Like in this case. We posted on two sites last Friday. Two. That's it. Number of responses as of this morning? Over 2,000. Not. Even. Exaggerating.
For someone who loves to swim and to teach swimming, it is weird to feel like you're drowning. The only thing you can do is start cutting. It's pretty obvious when someone is not the right fit, so they're gone. Ruthlessness is tough, but at this point it's survival. All those feelings of guilt and just feelings in general are now a liability. You have to cut until it's merely manageable. And it's all based on headshots at first. I have never felt so superficial. I get why Hollywood and casting directors get a bad rep for being cold and heartless. That's how I feel. The worst part? As I cull through all the photos, I'm starting not to feel. Like these are just photos and not photos of people anymore. And this is just from 3 days!! As I sit here writing this, I now feel guilty about not feeling guilty. So many feels and yet, not enough.
I'm starting to compartmentalize my different roles. You have to in order to maintain sanity and perform each role properly. Producer Trish is cold-hearted, slightly Scrooge-like and level-headed. The stakes are highest here. Production decisions must be made and schedules need to start being created. Writer Trish is much more emotional. She gets all warm and fuzzy when a casting tape comes in with someone doing justice to the dialogue she wrote. Scripty Trish is where I'm most comfortable. There's logic and fact involved. This is not about making decisions, it's about stating fact. And we haven't even gotten to Actor Trish. Yes, I'm acting. Luckily, I play me and I'm doing pretty well at that, given I have 27 years to draw on. I'm also pretty glad that Actor Trish doesn't have to audition for Producer Trish cause she can be mean and I might cut me.
I'm so conflicted. Excuse me while I return to my real job and focus on something so wholly unrelated to this struggle. There are mindless crafts to be created.
No comments:
Post a Comment