Life imitating art, Imitating life

Our show is more than a little autobiographical. We've depicted a more dramatic version of our real lives. Most of the moments in the show are things we've experienced ourselves, or to someone we know. The dialogue in one or two scenes is as close to verbatim to actual conversations we've had as memory will allow. There was actually a time during the writing process where I turned to my co-producers and said, "we have to go out tonight so I can write an episode this weekend." This isn't a new phenomenon. People write what they know and most of the time what they know is themselves.

What I didn't expect was how an episode we wrote that was a total dramatization or pure fiction somehow manifested itself in real life. Talk about weird. Now I don't want to give anything away, because some of these moments are too funny to believe. But here's a moment or two worth sharing. There's a scene where someone is watching a mindless wedding show, and as I was sitting in my living room compiling scripts for shooting that scene the next day, I was actually watching the very same wedding show. And I wasn't the only one on the production team doing the same thing, at the same moment. Weird, right?

Another example? We're shooting a scene where we're venting about how kids can be difficult sometimes. What teachers haven't had that conversation before? The hilarious part? While we're shooting we, hear a kid down the hall, in the pool screaming bloody murder during their swim class. Real life people. You can't script this stuff. Well, I guess you can...

I think balancing the show loosely based on my life while I continue to live my life, has made the whole process that much funnier. I live my life Monday-Friday and then film that life on Saturday and Sunday. Frequently, I live a moment that I wrote months before within days of filming it. As recently as this past weekend, I actually found myself quoting the show in a real-life conversation that was incredibly similar to a situation that my character had already experienced. That was freaky. It was like an out of body experience. I saw myself in the situation I had written and couldn't help but respond the way I had already acted. Talk about dejavu. Of course, then you think, which came first? Would I have naturally responded in that way had I not already written the scene for my character? Or did I write the scene because that's how I would've responded (and eventually did) in real life?

The downside of this is, of course, that our real lives sometimes bleed into the characters. With any creative team there are moments of tension throughout the production process and ours is no different. The key is to find solutions and channel that energy. Last week there was a particularly tense moment between myself and the lead actress, Kate. Boy did we channel all those emotions. Ironically, the scene we were filming directly after our disagreement was where our two characters are meeting up at work to apologize for calling each other out on our sh!t in an earlier scene. Oh the irony. You could cut the tension on set with a knife. The only problem was, our characters were supposed to make up and be friends again by the end of the scene, and we were clearly not ready to do that in real life. At least not by the end of the first take. Enter our acting skills. The weird part? By apologizing to each other's characters, the tension that had existed between us in real life also subsided.

Along the filming process we're also coming up with all sorts of material for season 2, should that come to be. I mean, at the very least there will be a script of season 2. (I already have 3 pages of notes and an outline for another 12 episodes.) In addition, as the actors are bringing the characters to life in their own ways, they're giving me so much to think about for their characters' futures. Side note: I believe writers should always be on set to observe the filming process of their material if they plan on doing future episodes/seasons. There are organic moments that happen that you may not be able to create with just your mind and a laptop. It is truly fascinating.

The Little Things

We've filmed 10 out of 12 days. We're only one weekend's worth of work away from being done with principal photography. To be honest, I'm already beginning to miss it. It's like senior year of school where you know that it's almost over and you try to take every opportunity to soak in the glory that is this experience. The more people we bring into the project the more special it becomes. It's been a total whirlwind of happy coincidences, coupled with some very real learning experiences.

I think the one lesson I'd like to impart at this particular juncture is to appreciate the little things. Our society has subconsciously trained us to look forward to major events, life-altering occurrences and the type of excitement that only happens in a script. But I've realized that many times things fall short, disappointment runs rampant and it is, in fact, the times between life events where life is lived.
Think back. Ever had a moment where you realized something wasn't all it was cracked up to be? Prom? Graduation? Getting your driver's license? Most of the time the moment doesn't live up to the hype and even if it does it is so fleeting that you may miss it as it flies by. Living life for the highs (or lows) that these instances present just sets yourself up for disappointment.

I'm not saying lower your expectations for life so you'll never be disappointed. I'm saying we should put more stock in the everyday. Don't live on autopilot. Appreciate the tiny moments that happen every single day, the ones that are so completely unexpected. These moments add up and before you know it your life is a string of these tiny moments all interconnected.
I'm a pretty firm believer that things happen for a reason and that people are brought into our life "as a blessing or a lesson". We are the culmination of our experiences and rather than regret or try to change things, we should let them happen.

Looking back, there seems to be a very deliberate series of these small moments and happy accidents that have all added up to my life.

When my sister was looking at colleges I tagged along (or was dragged along depending on who you talk to). By the time it was my turn, I had a pretty good idea where I wanted to apply. So without visiting a single campus myself, I sent out 14 applications. When I got acceptances I visited, therefore preventing any heartbreak. I was pretty sure I didn't want to go to Villanova, but I went for accepted students day. Thank goodness I did. This day started a chain of events that directly (or indirectly) led to where I am now.
The day I toured Villanova all of the campus activities had tables set up at the Student Center. One was Villanova's Student Musical Theater (or VSMT). Naturally, being the theater nerd that I am, I gravitated over to that table. Here's where I heard about Music Camp: a week before Freshman Orientation where we can move in early, do theater workshops all week and party before anyone else shows up. I'm in. And yes, I am completely aware that I have just upped my nerd status.

I met 90% of my friends from college at or through Music Camp. More importantly, the very first day of Music Camp my freshman year, I met a girl who said her roommate, like myself, was there for Musical Theater and that she was wearing blue shorts. Being my outspoken self, I happened upon a girl with blue shorts and decided to start a conversation. Turns out, wrong girl. Or maybe not, because this blue-shorted girl became my best friend. (Shout out to Janet in Seattle.)
This friendship led me to take Janet's Dad's acting class my Junior year (he was a professor at Nova). During that acting class, I heard about a pilot program for a Social Justice documentary class that they were offering the following semester, which I took. This class led me to my career in TV and film, which has inadvertently led me to my current job and my endeavors to write, produce and act in my own web series.
See what I mean? One college visit, one activities table, one conversation, it all led to life. What if I had kept to myself and never spoken to Janet with the blue shorts? What if I had decided to take painting instead of acting as my Fine Arts requirement? Or opted for a different professor? Tiny moments are the ones that my life has been built on.

Don't let tiny moments or opportunities pass you by. Maybe talking to that guy at the bar will lead to marriage, or more likely not. Or maybe, in my case, it will lead to a new beach volleyball team. You don't even have to risk that much. Believe me, I'm not a risk-taker. I wouldn't even risk a day-trip to a college I might fall in love with on the off-chance I wouldn't get in.
Just live in the moment. Be present. Put down the phone and have a conversation. Appreciate when the barista at Starbucks spells your name correctly. Or when a song comes on the radio and reminds you of someone. And don't be afraid to call that person up on the phone if you think of them.

Life is the little moments. Its the journey, not the destination.

Break's Over

This is weekend was the first time shooting in over 4 weeks. Luckily, two weeks ago two of my three jobs concluded for the summer and the craziest week of the season at my full-time job is also over. Getting back into production coordinating and scheduling was a welcome use of my time. Well, except for the fact that the cold I had been staving off for weeks finally caught up with me... Thank goodness for antibiotics and time for naps. But we went into this weekend healthy and relatively well-rested. Note to self: maybe not the best idea to stay out until 2am on a work-night 2 days before shooting. People don't function well on four hours of sleep.

Generally, the process of scheduling should have been easier for the second half because there are far fewer people involved. On the other hand, we're now bouncing between locations. No two days are in the same place for the remainder of the schedule. Before, once we set up the shooting schedule at our pool location it was just a matter of getting people there. However, with the remainder of the shooting days we had to scout locations, lock them down, find an adjacent holding space, and then get our cast and crew to and from these places. Trying to figure out what actors you need to call to which location and estimating how much time you'll need them and not call them too soon or too late is enough to send most people into a panic-attack. Example, we had one scene with two actors at our first location yesterday morning. We then needed to release one actor, keep the other, change locations and meet up with a new actor at the second location, all while taking New York City traffic into account. Not to mention, the new actor at the second location had a hard out after 2 hours so we had to make the first actor standby during three scenes before we got back to shooting with him. "Hard out" for those who don't know, is an completely in-flexible release time for either a person or location. As a 1st AD (aka timekeeper, ring leader, task master), hard outs are my nightmare. You absolutely MUST get everything done by then. There's no wiggle room. That clock strikes midnight and Cinderella's coach turns back into a pumpkin. And no glass slipper.

The benefit of the hiatus, besides a much-needed rest, is perspective. We're able to take all of the lessons we learned the first half and use them to our advantage planning and producing the second half. The production team has gotten together multiple times, professionally and socially, and have re-capped, re-counted, de-briefed and analyzed every aspect of the production: our strengths and weaknesses, how we can better help each other and better prepare for the inevitable surprises. That doesn't mean that things don't come up. On the contrary, things always come up. We can just handle them better since we have everything else under control. Mostly.

As I've said before, things are always going to go slightly off plan. The trick is to catch the problem early, find a solution and fix it while maintaining a positive attitude. The two jobs I've done most often on set (and the ones I think I'm pretty good at) are Script Supervisor and 1st AD. Problem is both of those people rarely have anything great to say. Ever heard a Scripty say, "That was perfect!" Nope. Or a 1st AD say, "Sure you can take as long as you want, we're running early!" Not a chance. We're the messengers of bad news. If the Scripty comes up to you on set you either flubbed a line, missed a cue, changed your action, were seen in reflection, caught on camera, heard on the mic... Not good. As a 1st AD, you're always telling people "no" or "move faster". "No you can't take a bathroom break right now." "No you can't have an hour to set those lights." "No we can't do 'just one more take'. Lunch was supposed to be 5 minutes ago." I'd like to thank my Political Science degree and my horrible summer interning at Fox News for my ability to spin a bad situation and convey bad news in a way that you won't take it so hard. "Oh the dollar is tanking? Well, at least foreign tourists will now travel to America and spend their money here." See? Don't feel so bad about it anymore. That's spin for you.

I'm not trying to manipulate you, but I'm never going to be 100% honest with everybody. Sorry. It's the truth. And it's not malicious. If I have bad news, I tell the people who can handle it best or, better yet, those who can aid in the solution. I'm not going to tell anyone who can't help with the problem. Yes, I'm deliberately keeping you in the dark for your own good. Why bother you with something you can't assist in? Otherwise, people just walk around feeling defeated. All these things are going wrong and I can't help. That's a morale killer. And unhappy people, typically, don't work quickly.

Anyway, this we got another 20 4/8ths pages and 22 scenes done. And I'm pretty sure people enjoyed themselves. I hope. We brought on 8 new, reoccurring characters (some of which we had only met once, or only seen through internet casting videos) and subsequently wrapped all of their scenes in a single day. Shout out to Lizzie, our Casting Director, for finding not just talented but incredibly nice performers to add to our little "this is whY" family. I promise to write more scenes for you guys in the season 2 script I'm currently formulating in my mind!
8 days down, 5 to go!

Halfway there

38 scenes with 50+ actors totaling 59 7/8 pages, including three complete episodes, in only 6 shooting days. That's our progress so far on "this is whY". The best part? We've shot the most complicated scenes with the most difficult content. The second half is a lot more performance-based and less action-based with the majority of the remaining scenes only containing two to four characters, three of which are the producers. Logistically, I might actually be able to take a deep breath.


Not to mention, barring reshoots, we're done with the pool. No more worrying about wet equipment, or drying off actors, or anyone slipping on deck. No need to have a lifeguard on set at all times.
The other locations are each for a single day, and we've already nailed down most of them because they're more common places like an apartment, house, park, street, classroom.

Casting is done, provided no one has a conflict, leaving only contracts and scripts to be distributed to the remaining cast members. Then some scheduling magic to coordinate the remaining shoot dates.

Luckily, we're going on a three week hiatus from shooting. We'll resume at the end of August. So we have all sorts of time to get things done!


Time is a funny thing. It feels like yesterday that Kate came to me with the idea of producing our own work but it was 10 months ago. On the other hand, our first day of shooting at the beginning of July feels like light years ago. Also, when you're waiting for someone to fly something in on set it can feel like a lifetime, but when you're under the gun, because you're quickly approaching your six-hour break, time flies by. I'd love to have more time. More pool time, more time to shoot, more time to get people to trains. However, if I had more time, I'm not sure I would use it properly because there's something about the pressure of a deadline that causes productivity to sky rocket. Then again, a little more time would mean a little less stress so I might take that chance.


Before I know it, production will be over and we'll move into post-production and distribution. Yes, that's the first time I've mentioned distribution because honestly, I hadn't thought much about it, outside of posting to YouTube, until people started asking about it. I was given some good advice this weekend, "Aim high." If you don't reach for the highest goal, you'll never achieve it. Most people talk themselves out of extravagant goals, thinking there's no way to reach the pinnacle. Well, the other side of that coin is that you'll never reach the peak if your goal is only halfway. So I'm going to slowly start researching what to do when post is complete. Better to start early since time keeps ticking by.


I would love to say everything will be complete and released by X-date and that cast/crew will be receiving footage on Y-date, but that just isn't realistic. I hope those who have been a part of this project thus far have seen our commitment to the success of the production and trust that we are doing what's best for it's lifespan. Be sure to keep reading to stay up to date with our milestones.

Money Doesn't Grow on Trees

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Making movies is not the glamorous Hollywood lifestyle that People Magazine makes it out to be. Also, not everyone who is a filmmaker or actress is making good money. Or any money. Yes, there are the Jolie-Pitts of the world who make one film a year and can support their brood of children and give into whatever materialistic whims they may desire.
For the rest of us mere mortals, we don't do this for the money. I've worked countless jobs for no pay. It's not a great way to live your life and it isn't sustainable. However, when the right project comes along, you do what you can to get it done, especially if a friend or connection is involved and has asked for your help.

I'd like to take this opportunity to thank the countless people who have thus far donated their time and talents to this project. Let's hope that "deferred pay" is, in fact, just deferred.

Any and all expenses that have been incurred, including equipment, wardrobe, props, food, transportation, have come directly out of the pockets of the production team. One day of work at my day job may cover the minor incidental expenses of a weekend of shooting. Actually it's probably closer to two days, but it's worth it. And luckily, I don't have to support a brood of children. Thank goodness for good choices.

Sometimes large, unexpected expenses come up, but for the most part we're banking a lot on good fortune and favors. When such situations arise sometimes the only solution, because of time constraints, is to throw money at it. But I'm not a sucker. I may be desperate but I'm not stupid. I've had a top of the line sound guy donating his time and the use of his gear for the last two weeks and even though I'm cold-calling you from a network of film professionals that does not mean I'm going to give into your absolutely ridiculous requirement of a $900/day rate. Forget you dude. You better be able to magically erase the inevitable buzz of the fluorescent lights on the pool deck before I even consider paying you half of that. You're out of your ever-loving mind.

I would also like to express some frustration when it comes to insurance and locations. I get it. You have to cover your... assets. You don't know me or my crew and you can't take a risk. But I gotta tell you, we don't have the equipment to cause any sort of damage. You're asking me to pay $500 for $300k worth of insurance when we can't possibly cause that level of damage. Unless my hair straightener can some how burn down the whole building, I think we're in the clear. We have no lights, cords, c-stands, sand bags, dollies or dolly tracks. We have a guy with a camera, a sound guy with his own gear, one hair dryer, one hair straightener, one computer that doesn't even have wifi and a bunch of props and wardrobe. What could possibly happen? I spill coffee on the floor, someone slips, accidentally knocks into a desk which goes flying through the window? That can't possibly even cost $1,000. And if it does, I'll pay it. If that strange and completely random series of event occurs, I will gladly pay reparations. Bottom line: not gonna happen.

Excuse me while I go knock on every piece of wood in the building, throw salt over my left shoulder, then search for a rabbit's foot and a penny on the ground. 

Locations are notoriously expensive because chances are you have to shut down the regular business in order to use the space. We're looking for a bar in order to shoot some scenes. We need the McClaren's to our HIMYM, the Central Perk to our Friends. I had a great idea that we use the a local catering hall that has a bar in it and make it into a pub-looking venue with some set deck and lighting. Bonus: it's in my home town and my dad is friends with a bunch of the guys who are part of the group who uses it. Thank you for good fortune, ingenuity and connections. So I called the guy in charge of reserving the hall. Talk about a cold shoulder. I get that you don't know about film-making but I'm not trying to screw you and your club house. I'm merely asking questions to see if you might be open for negotiations. I guess it doesn't help that I sound like a kid on the phone because this guy was treating me like some high school girl who had no idea what she was doing. I'm a professional dude. Ask questions, don't make assumptions. And even though I had character references, he would not budge on the rental cost. Fair enough, but did you really have to add that you "don't want to bring this kind of request to the board of trustees"? Now you're being a jerk. *end rant*

Most of us are doing this for love, not for money. You don't spend two hours in a freezing cold pool, doing the same lap and saying the same line over and over again because of the glamour. I would love to be independently wealthy and pay everyone exactly what they're worth and more. But until my money tree decides to sprout Benjamins we're all in this un-glamorous, poor excuse for a lifeboat together.

Highs and Lows

When I worked in the film industry the first time, people always criticized that I lived in extremes. I vacillated between very high highs and very low lows. I was either working on no sleep or would sleep for three days straight. I was happy or I was miserable. It was either 108*F at the World Trade Center or -12*F in an abandoned brownstone in North Philly. I would be completely unreachable via cell, text, phone, telegraph or I'd constantly be posting on Facebook, twitter, calling everyone... There was set life: wake up, drive to set, eat set food, work, drive home, sleep. And there was real life: job searching, sleeping, pay bills, grocery shopping, running errands. And they rarely crossed over. Things always happened in the extremes and I was completely out of balance.


I'd like to think I've matured a little bit in the last few years and can handle these high and lows with a little more stability but things that happen on set can still throw you for a loop. So far I've managed not to loose my cool (mostly), all my bills are being paid on time, I've made it to all my jobs and met all my deadlines, and I haven't completely fallen off of my mostly-healthy lifestyle. I'd say this is pretty miraculous because on a daily basis things can get completely out of control. On shoot days you are either inundated with background actors and people on set, or there's no one. There's either way too much food (like 4 pizzas too many) or we've run out of an entire case of water bottles in a second flat. And there's literally nothing you can do to foresee or prevent it. It takes a special kind of person. I still don't know if I'm that kind of person.


I can't begin to impress upon you the amount of effort and patience it takes to deal with all the crazy that comes at you and maintain a calm, collected (at least outward) appearance. You can never prepare yourself for what can and will happen.


The craziest part of this whole thing? I love it. I thrive on this. It's like an addiction to a high. When you wrap a day of shooting and everyone is headed home and no longer your problem, there is literally no better feeling. Of course it only lasts until you have to prep the next shoot day. It's short-lived and you're always searching for the next high. I would also equate it to what I know of child birth. (Note: I have no kids but this is how I imagine it would be). The labor is so difficult and painful but the payoff is so gratifying you completely black out all of the struggles and end up doing it again a year or two later. At least, we've managed to get through 2 weekends, 4 shoot days, 25 scenes, and 26 5/8 pages without major incident. *knocks on wood*


Only three more prep days before we shoot another 23 3/8ths pages equaling 13 scenes with 35 actors, including 11 kids over the course of the weekend. Wish us luck.

Good Exhaustion

There's a huge difference between types of exhaustion. There's the run down, burnt out, zombie-like exhaustion and then there's the feeling I have right now. The 'I accomplished something awesome and poured every ounce of energy I had left in me' exhaustion.

This time last week my mind was littered with doubts, worries, complications, and to-do lists. Today, my mind is blissfully silent. Sure there's two more shooting days this weekend and two the following weekend, but that can wait until tomorrow. I'm too busy basking in the glories of what we accomplished. Not that the weekend didn't have it's ups and downs. In this business you just have to take the small minefields you encounter in stride and keep moving on.

For example, Friday night was our last production meeting before we started shooting. We had the 3 producers, the production manager, one of our PAs and our DP all together for a meet and greet, camera test and to iron out last minute details. And it's a darn good thing we did. When you purchase a great deal of equipment from different vendors over the internet things are bound to either be late, be damaged, be incorrect or some combination thereof. It's a crap shoot, but in ultra low budget film-making you do what has to be done and sometimes that means buying a used shoulder mount from India.

Luckily, our only problem turned out to be a pretty simple, yet heart attack inducing mix up. We had our beautiful Canon 7D DSLR camera and all the accessories and we were about to film something to test it all out, when low-and-behold, we had the wrong cards. For those of you who don't know, numerous consumer-grade camera use the simple, small SD cards. Well, this camera, does not. We needed CF cards. Big ones, like 32gbs. It was 8:15pm on a Friday night when most stores close at 9pm and we were scheduled to be on set at 8am the next day, before stores opened again. So off I went to Staples where I encountered a very un-knowledgeable sales associate, who kept trying to sell me SD cards and couldn't understand my frustration at them only have a single 8gb CF card and his insistence that I allow him to call their store nearby to find out if they had more.


Thanks but no thanks, I now only have 33 mins before BestBuy closes and a 14 minute drive to get there. In the end, I managed to get the cards and a card-reader to boot, but I may have lost a bout a year off my life in the interim. Curse you film ninjas.

I deliberately scheduled the first day of shooting to be light on pages and on persons. I'm all for jumping into the deep end (Sorry, pool humor. Can't help it), but when you're working with a brand new cast and crew you need time to find a rhythm and feel out where your strengths and weaknesses are. It always takes longer than you expect even with the best planning.

So there were only 8 of us. 4 cast and 4 crew. And we only had 4 scenes, totaling 7 2/8 pages and none of them actually required us getting into the pool. Based on the fact that there's no G&E (grip and electric for those of you non-film folk. These are the guys that do all the lighting and rigging. But since we're periodically soaking wet, we decided against lights), I figured it was doable. Turns out it was more than doable. We took our time, had an extra half hour break in the middle of the day and wrapped 45 minutes early. It was fantastic and I slept like a rock.

Yesterday, was a whole other animal. 20 cast members, including children and background. Some union, some not, which complicates matters. Most of which needed to be shuttled to and from the train station to location at various hours. 12 1/8 pages, including the entire pilot episode. And 2 stunts which required people in and out of the water. And we only added a single crew member in order to deal with the mayhem. I say mayhem because at one point I had to crawl under a table to chase after a child and negotiated with another child, promising to let them push me in the pool, clothes and all, if they were quiet and patient. Yup, just a day in the life.

It was controlled chaos. And I LOVED IT! Everyone was doing a multitude of different things. We even had a background actor offer to work as a PA. At any given moment I was 1st AD, production coordinator, actress, child catcher, poop wrangler, continuity, set dec, producer, driver... I have never felt so thoroughly and completely exhausted in the best kind of way. Not gonna lie, waking up for my day job at 5:45am and knowing I had to work two jobs and wouldn't be home again until 9pm tonight was one of the hardest things I have ever done, but it was worth it. I've got to bank roll my dreams, even if it means my entire pay check for today is going directly toward parking and transportation from the past weekend.