Life imitating art, Imitating life

Our show is more than a little autobiographical. We've depicted a more dramatic version of our real lives. Most of the moments in the show are things we've experienced ourselves, or to someone we know. The dialogue in one or two scenes is as close to verbatim to actual conversations we've had as memory will allow. There was actually a time during the writing process where I turned to my co-producers and said, "we have to go out tonight so I can write an episode this weekend." This isn't a new phenomenon. People write what they know and most of the time what they know is themselves.

What I didn't expect was how an episode we wrote that was a total dramatization or pure fiction somehow manifested itself in real life. Talk about weird. Now I don't want to give anything away, because some of these moments are too funny to believe. But here's a moment or two worth sharing. There's a scene where someone is watching a mindless wedding show, and as I was sitting in my living room compiling scripts for shooting that scene the next day, I was actually watching the very same wedding show. And I wasn't the only one on the production team doing the same thing, at the same moment. Weird, right?

Another example? We're shooting a scene where we're venting about how kids can be difficult sometimes. What teachers haven't had that conversation before? The hilarious part? While we're shooting we, hear a kid down the hall, in the pool screaming bloody murder during their swim class. Real life people. You can't script this stuff. Well, I guess you can...

I think balancing the show loosely based on my life while I continue to live my life, has made the whole process that much funnier. I live my life Monday-Friday and then film that life on Saturday and Sunday. Frequently, I live a moment that I wrote months before within days of filming it. As recently as this past weekend, I actually found myself quoting the show in a real-life conversation that was incredibly similar to a situation that my character had already experienced. That was freaky. It was like an out of body experience. I saw myself in the situation I had written and couldn't help but respond the way I had already acted. Talk about dejavu. Of course, then you think, which came first? Would I have naturally responded in that way had I not already written the scene for my character? Or did I write the scene because that's how I would've responded (and eventually did) in real life?

The downside of this is, of course, that our real lives sometimes bleed into the characters. With any creative team there are moments of tension throughout the production process and ours is no different. The key is to find solutions and channel that energy. Last week there was a particularly tense moment between myself and the lead actress, Kate. Boy did we channel all those emotions. Ironically, the scene we were filming directly after our disagreement was where our two characters are meeting up at work to apologize for calling each other out on our sh!t in an earlier scene. Oh the irony. You could cut the tension on set with a knife. The only problem was, our characters were supposed to make up and be friends again by the end of the scene, and we were clearly not ready to do that in real life. At least not by the end of the first take. Enter our acting skills. The weird part? By apologizing to each other's characters, the tension that had existed between us in real life also subsided.

Along the filming process we're also coming up with all sorts of material for season 2, should that come to be. I mean, at the very least there will be a script of season 2. (I already have 3 pages of notes and an outline for another 12 episodes.) In addition, as the actors are bringing the characters to life in their own ways, they're giving me so much to think about for their characters' futures. Side note: I believe writers should always be on set to observe the filming process of their material if they plan on doing future episodes/seasons. There are organic moments that happen that you may not be able to create with just your mind and a laptop. It is truly fascinating.

The Little Things

We've filmed 10 out of 12 days. We're only one weekend's worth of work away from being done with principal photography. To be honest, I'm already beginning to miss it. It's like senior year of school where you know that it's almost over and you try to take every opportunity to soak in the glory that is this experience. The more people we bring into the project the more special it becomes. It's been a total whirlwind of happy coincidences, coupled with some very real learning experiences.

I think the one lesson I'd like to impart at this particular juncture is to appreciate the little things. Our society has subconsciously trained us to look forward to major events, life-altering occurrences and the type of excitement that only happens in a script. But I've realized that many times things fall short, disappointment runs rampant and it is, in fact, the times between life events where life is lived.
Think back. Ever had a moment where you realized something wasn't all it was cracked up to be? Prom? Graduation? Getting your driver's license? Most of the time the moment doesn't live up to the hype and even if it does it is so fleeting that you may miss it as it flies by. Living life for the highs (or lows) that these instances present just sets yourself up for disappointment.

I'm not saying lower your expectations for life so you'll never be disappointed. I'm saying we should put more stock in the everyday. Don't live on autopilot. Appreciate the tiny moments that happen every single day, the ones that are so completely unexpected. These moments add up and before you know it your life is a string of these tiny moments all interconnected.
I'm a pretty firm believer that things happen for a reason and that people are brought into our life "as a blessing or a lesson". We are the culmination of our experiences and rather than regret or try to change things, we should let them happen.

Looking back, there seems to be a very deliberate series of these small moments and happy accidents that have all added up to my life.

When my sister was looking at colleges I tagged along (or was dragged along depending on who you talk to). By the time it was my turn, I had a pretty good idea where I wanted to apply. So without visiting a single campus myself, I sent out 14 applications. When I got acceptances I visited, therefore preventing any heartbreak. I was pretty sure I didn't want to go to Villanova, but I went for accepted students day. Thank goodness I did. This day started a chain of events that directly (or indirectly) led to where I am now.
The day I toured Villanova all of the campus activities had tables set up at the Student Center. One was Villanova's Student Musical Theater (or VSMT). Naturally, being the theater nerd that I am, I gravitated over to that table. Here's where I heard about Music Camp: a week before Freshman Orientation where we can move in early, do theater workshops all week and party before anyone else shows up. I'm in. And yes, I am completely aware that I have just upped my nerd status.

I met 90% of my friends from college at or through Music Camp. More importantly, the very first day of Music Camp my freshman year, I met a girl who said her roommate, like myself, was there for Musical Theater and that she was wearing blue shorts. Being my outspoken self, I happened upon a girl with blue shorts and decided to start a conversation. Turns out, wrong girl. Or maybe not, because this blue-shorted girl became my best friend. (Shout out to Janet in Seattle.)
This friendship led me to take Janet's Dad's acting class my Junior year (he was a professor at Nova). During that acting class, I heard about a pilot program for a Social Justice documentary class that they were offering the following semester, which I took. This class led me to my career in TV and film, which has inadvertently led me to my current job and my endeavors to write, produce and act in my own web series.
See what I mean? One college visit, one activities table, one conversation, it all led to life. What if I had kept to myself and never spoken to Janet with the blue shorts? What if I had decided to take painting instead of acting as my Fine Arts requirement? Or opted for a different professor? Tiny moments are the ones that my life has been built on.

Don't let tiny moments or opportunities pass you by. Maybe talking to that guy at the bar will lead to marriage, or more likely not. Or maybe, in my case, it will lead to a new beach volleyball team. You don't even have to risk that much. Believe me, I'm not a risk-taker. I wouldn't even risk a day-trip to a college I might fall in love with on the off-chance I wouldn't get in.
Just live in the moment. Be present. Put down the phone and have a conversation. Appreciate when the barista at Starbucks spells your name correctly. Or when a song comes on the radio and reminds you of someone. And don't be afraid to call that person up on the phone if you think of them.

Life is the little moments. Its the journey, not the destination.

Break's Over

This is weekend was the first time shooting in over 4 weeks. Luckily, two weeks ago two of my three jobs concluded for the summer and the craziest week of the season at my full-time job is also over. Getting back into production coordinating and scheduling was a welcome use of my time. Well, except for the fact that the cold I had been staving off for weeks finally caught up with me... Thank goodness for antibiotics and time for naps. But we went into this weekend healthy and relatively well-rested. Note to self: maybe not the best idea to stay out until 2am on a work-night 2 days before shooting. People don't function well on four hours of sleep.

Generally, the process of scheduling should have been easier for the second half because there are far fewer people involved. On the other hand, we're now bouncing between locations. No two days are in the same place for the remainder of the schedule. Before, once we set up the shooting schedule at our pool location it was just a matter of getting people there. However, with the remainder of the shooting days we had to scout locations, lock them down, find an adjacent holding space, and then get our cast and crew to and from these places. Trying to figure out what actors you need to call to which location and estimating how much time you'll need them and not call them too soon or too late is enough to send most people into a panic-attack. Example, we had one scene with two actors at our first location yesterday morning. We then needed to release one actor, keep the other, change locations and meet up with a new actor at the second location, all while taking New York City traffic into account. Not to mention, the new actor at the second location had a hard out after 2 hours so we had to make the first actor standby during three scenes before we got back to shooting with him. "Hard out" for those who don't know, is an completely in-flexible release time for either a person or location. As a 1st AD (aka timekeeper, ring leader, task master), hard outs are my nightmare. You absolutely MUST get everything done by then. There's no wiggle room. That clock strikes midnight and Cinderella's coach turns back into a pumpkin. And no glass slipper.

The benefit of the hiatus, besides a much-needed rest, is perspective. We're able to take all of the lessons we learned the first half and use them to our advantage planning and producing the second half. The production team has gotten together multiple times, professionally and socially, and have re-capped, re-counted, de-briefed and analyzed every aspect of the production: our strengths and weaknesses, how we can better help each other and better prepare for the inevitable surprises. That doesn't mean that things don't come up. On the contrary, things always come up. We can just handle them better since we have everything else under control. Mostly.

As I've said before, things are always going to go slightly off plan. The trick is to catch the problem early, find a solution and fix it while maintaining a positive attitude. The two jobs I've done most often on set (and the ones I think I'm pretty good at) are Script Supervisor and 1st AD. Problem is both of those people rarely have anything great to say. Ever heard a Scripty say, "That was perfect!" Nope. Or a 1st AD say, "Sure you can take as long as you want, we're running early!" Not a chance. We're the messengers of bad news. If the Scripty comes up to you on set you either flubbed a line, missed a cue, changed your action, were seen in reflection, caught on camera, heard on the mic... Not good. As a 1st AD, you're always telling people "no" or "move faster". "No you can't take a bathroom break right now." "No you can't have an hour to set those lights." "No we can't do 'just one more take'. Lunch was supposed to be 5 minutes ago." I'd like to thank my Political Science degree and my horrible summer interning at Fox News for my ability to spin a bad situation and convey bad news in a way that you won't take it so hard. "Oh the dollar is tanking? Well, at least foreign tourists will now travel to America and spend their money here." See? Don't feel so bad about it anymore. That's spin for you.

I'm not trying to manipulate you, but I'm never going to be 100% honest with everybody. Sorry. It's the truth. And it's not malicious. If I have bad news, I tell the people who can handle it best or, better yet, those who can aid in the solution. I'm not going to tell anyone who can't help with the problem. Yes, I'm deliberately keeping you in the dark for your own good. Why bother you with something you can't assist in? Otherwise, people just walk around feeling defeated. All these things are going wrong and I can't help. That's a morale killer. And unhappy people, typically, don't work quickly.

Anyway, this we got another 20 4/8ths pages and 22 scenes done. And I'm pretty sure people enjoyed themselves. I hope. We brought on 8 new, reoccurring characters (some of which we had only met once, or only seen through internet casting videos) and subsequently wrapped all of their scenes in a single day. Shout out to Lizzie, our Casting Director, for finding not just talented but incredibly nice performers to add to our little "this is whY" family. I promise to write more scenes for you guys in the season 2 script I'm currently formulating in my mind!
8 days down, 5 to go!

Halfway there

38 scenes with 50+ actors totaling 59 7/8 pages, including three complete episodes, in only 6 shooting days. That's our progress so far on "this is whY". The best part? We've shot the most complicated scenes with the most difficult content. The second half is a lot more performance-based and less action-based with the majority of the remaining scenes only containing two to four characters, three of which are the producers. Logistically, I might actually be able to take a deep breath.


Not to mention, barring reshoots, we're done with the pool. No more worrying about wet equipment, or drying off actors, or anyone slipping on deck. No need to have a lifeguard on set at all times.
The other locations are each for a single day, and we've already nailed down most of them because they're more common places like an apartment, house, park, street, classroom.

Casting is done, provided no one has a conflict, leaving only contracts and scripts to be distributed to the remaining cast members. Then some scheduling magic to coordinate the remaining shoot dates.

Luckily, we're going on a three week hiatus from shooting. We'll resume at the end of August. So we have all sorts of time to get things done!


Time is a funny thing. It feels like yesterday that Kate came to me with the idea of producing our own work but it was 10 months ago. On the other hand, our first day of shooting at the beginning of July feels like light years ago. Also, when you're waiting for someone to fly something in on set it can feel like a lifetime, but when you're under the gun, because you're quickly approaching your six-hour break, time flies by. I'd love to have more time. More pool time, more time to shoot, more time to get people to trains. However, if I had more time, I'm not sure I would use it properly because there's something about the pressure of a deadline that causes productivity to sky rocket. Then again, a little more time would mean a little less stress so I might take that chance.


Before I know it, production will be over and we'll move into post-production and distribution. Yes, that's the first time I've mentioned distribution because honestly, I hadn't thought much about it, outside of posting to YouTube, until people started asking about it. I was given some good advice this weekend, "Aim high." If you don't reach for the highest goal, you'll never achieve it. Most people talk themselves out of extravagant goals, thinking there's no way to reach the pinnacle. Well, the other side of that coin is that you'll never reach the peak if your goal is only halfway. So I'm going to slowly start researching what to do when post is complete. Better to start early since time keeps ticking by.


I would love to say everything will be complete and released by X-date and that cast/crew will be receiving footage on Y-date, but that just isn't realistic. I hope those who have been a part of this project thus far have seen our commitment to the success of the production and trust that we are doing what's best for it's lifespan. Be sure to keep reading to stay up to date with our milestones.

Money Doesn't Grow on Trees

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Making movies is not the glamorous Hollywood lifestyle that People Magazine makes it out to be. Also, not everyone who is a filmmaker or actress is making good money. Or any money. Yes, there are the Jolie-Pitts of the world who make one film a year and can support their brood of children and give into whatever materialistic whims they may desire.
For the rest of us mere mortals, we don't do this for the money. I've worked countless jobs for no pay. It's not a great way to live your life and it isn't sustainable. However, when the right project comes along, you do what you can to get it done, especially if a friend or connection is involved and has asked for your help.

I'd like to take this opportunity to thank the countless people who have thus far donated their time and talents to this project. Let's hope that "deferred pay" is, in fact, just deferred.

Any and all expenses that have been incurred, including equipment, wardrobe, props, food, transportation, have come directly out of the pockets of the production team. One day of work at my day job may cover the minor incidental expenses of a weekend of shooting. Actually it's probably closer to two days, but it's worth it. And luckily, I don't have to support a brood of children. Thank goodness for good choices.

Sometimes large, unexpected expenses come up, but for the most part we're banking a lot on good fortune and favors. When such situations arise sometimes the only solution, because of time constraints, is to throw money at it. But I'm not a sucker. I may be desperate but I'm not stupid. I've had a top of the line sound guy donating his time and the use of his gear for the last two weeks and even though I'm cold-calling you from a network of film professionals that does not mean I'm going to give into your absolutely ridiculous requirement of a $900/day rate. Forget you dude. You better be able to magically erase the inevitable buzz of the fluorescent lights on the pool deck before I even consider paying you half of that. You're out of your ever-loving mind.

I would also like to express some frustration when it comes to insurance and locations. I get it. You have to cover your... assets. You don't know me or my crew and you can't take a risk. But I gotta tell you, we don't have the equipment to cause any sort of damage. You're asking me to pay $500 for $300k worth of insurance when we can't possibly cause that level of damage. Unless my hair straightener can some how burn down the whole building, I think we're in the clear. We have no lights, cords, c-stands, sand bags, dollies or dolly tracks. We have a guy with a camera, a sound guy with his own gear, one hair dryer, one hair straightener, one computer that doesn't even have wifi and a bunch of props and wardrobe. What could possibly happen? I spill coffee on the floor, someone slips, accidentally knocks into a desk which goes flying through the window? That can't possibly even cost $1,000. And if it does, I'll pay it. If that strange and completely random series of event occurs, I will gladly pay reparations. Bottom line: not gonna happen.

Excuse me while I go knock on every piece of wood in the building, throw salt over my left shoulder, then search for a rabbit's foot and a penny on the ground. 

Locations are notoriously expensive because chances are you have to shut down the regular business in order to use the space. We're looking for a bar in order to shoot some scenes. We need the McClaren's to our HIMYM, the Central Perk to our Friends. I had a great idea that we use the a local catering hall that has a bar in it and make it into a pub-looking venue with some set deck and lighting. Bonus: it's in my home town and my dad is friends with a bunch of the guys who are part of the group who uses it. Thank you for good fortune, ingenuity and connections. So I called the guy in charge of reserving the hall. Talk about a cold shoulder. I get that you don't know about film-making but I'm not trying to screw you and your club house. I'm merely asking questions to see if you might be open for negotiations. I guess it doesn't help that I sound like a kid on the phone because this guy was treating me like some high school girl who had no idea what she was doing. I'm a professional dude. Ask questions, don't make assumptions. And even though I had character references, he would not budge on the rental cost. Fair enough, but did you really have to add that you "don't want to bring this kind of request to the board of trustees"? Now you're being a jerk. *end rant*

Most of us are doing this for love, not for money. You don't spend two hours in a freezing cold pool, doing the same lap and saying the same line over and over again because of the glamour. I would love to be independently wealthy and pay everyone exactly what they're worth and more. But until my money tree decides to sprout Benjamins we're all in this un-glamorous, poor excuse for a lifeboat together.

Highs and Lows

When I worked in the film industry the first time, people always criticized that I lived in extremes. I vacillated between very high highs and very low lows. I was either working on no sleep or would sleep for three days straight. I was happy or I was miserable. It was either 108*F at the World Trade Center or -12*F in an abandoned brownstone in North Philly. I would be completely unreachable via cell, text, phone, telegraph or I'd constantly be posting on Facebook, twitter, calling everyone... There was set life: wake up, drive to set, eat set food, work, drive home, sleep. And there was real life: job searching, sleeping, pay bills, grocery shopping, running errands. And they rarely crossed over. Things always happened in the extremes and I was completely out of balance.


I'd like to think I've matured a little bit in the last few years and can handle these high and lows with a little more stability but things that happen on set can still throw you for a loop. So far I've managed not to loose my cool (mostly), all my bills are being paid on time, I've made it to all my jobs and met all my deadlines, and I haven't completely fallen off of my mostly-healthy lifestyle. I'd say this is pretty miraculous because on a daily basis things can get completely out of control. On shoot days you are either inundated with background actors and people on set, or there's no one. There's either way too much food (like 4 pizzas too many) or we've run out of an entire case of water bottles in a second flat. And there's literally nothing you can do to foresee or prevent it. It takes a special kind of person. I still don't know if I'm that kind of person.


I can't begin to impress upon you the amount of effort and patience it takes to deal with all the crazy that comes at you and maintain a calm, collected (at least outward) appearance. You can never prepare yourself for what can and will happen.


The craziest part of this whole thing? I love it. I thrive on this. It's like an addiction to a high. When you wrap a day of shooting and everyone is headed home and no longer your problem, there is literally no better feeling. Of course it only lasts until you have to prep the next shoot day. It's short-lived and you're always searching for the next high. I would also equate it to what I know of child birth. (Note: I have no kids but this is how I imagine it would be). The labor is so difficult and painful but the payoff is so gratifying you completely black out all of the struggles and end up doing it again a year or two later. At least, we've managed to get through 2 weekends, 4 shoot days, 25 scenes, and 26 5/8 pages without major incident. *knocks on wood*


Only three more prep days before we shoot another 23 3/8ths pages equaling 13 scenes with 35 actors, including 11 kids over the course of the weekend. Wish us luck.

Good Exhaustion

There's a huge difference between types of exhaustion. There's the run down, burnt out, zombie-like exhaustion and then there's the feeling I have right now. The 'I accomplished something awesome and poured every ounce of energy I had left in me' exhaustion.

This time last week my mind was littered with doubts, worries, complications, and to-do lists. Today, my mind is blissfully silent. Sure there's two more shooting days this weekend and two the following weekend, but that can wait until tomorrow. I'm too busy basking in the glories of what we accomplished. Not that the weekend didn't have it's ups and downs. In this business you just have to take the small minefields you encounter in stride and keep moving on.

For example, Friday night was our last production meeting before we started shooting. We had the 3 producers, the production manager, one of our PAs and our DP all together for a meet and greet, camera test and to iron out last minute details. And it's a darn good thing we did. When you purchase a great deal of equipment from different vendors over the internet things are bound to either be late, be damaged, be incorrect or some combination thereof. It's a crap shoot, but in ultra low budget film-making you do what has to be done and sometimes that means buying a used shoulder mount from India.

Luckily, our only problem turned out to be a pretty simple, yet heart attack inducing mix up. We had our beautiful Canon 7D DSLR camera and all the accessories and we were about to film something to test it all out, when low-and-behold, we had the wrong cards. For those of you who don't know, numerous consumer-grade camera use the simple, small SD cards. Well, this camera, does not. We needed CF cards. Big ones, like 32gbs. It was 8:15pm on a Friday night when most stores close at 9pm and we were scheduled to be on set at 8am the next day, before stores opened again. So off I went to Staples where I encountered a very un-knowledgeable sales associate, who kept trying to sell me SD cards and couldn't understand my frustration at them only have a single 8gb CF card and his insistence that I allow him to call their store nearby to find out if they had more.


Thanks but no thanks, I now only have 33 mins before BestBuy closes and a 14 minute drive to get there. In the end, I managed to get the cards and a card-reader to boot, but I may have lost a bout a year off my life in the interim. Curse you film ninjas.

I deliberately scheduled the first day of shooting to be light on pages and on persons. I'm all for jumping into the deep end (Sorry, pool humor. Can't help it), but when you're working with a brand new cast and crew you need time to find a rhythm and feel out where your strengths and weaknesses are. It always takes longer than you expect even with the best planning.

So there were only 8 of us. 4 cast and 4 crew. And we only had 4 scenes, totaling 7 2/8 pages and none of them actually required us getting into the pool. Based on the fact that there's no G&E (grip and electric for those of you non-film folk. These are the guys that do all the lighting and rigging. But since we're periodically soaking wet, we decided against lights), I figured it was doable. Turns out it was more than doable. We took our time, had an extra half hour break in the middle of the day and wrapped 45 minutes early. It was fantastic and I slept like a rock.

Yesterday, was a whole other animal. 20 cast members, including children and background. Some union, some not, which complicates matters. Most of which needed to be shuttled to and from the train station to location at various hours. 12 1/8 pages, including the entire pilot episode. And 2 stunts which required people in and out of the water. And we only added a single crew member in order to deal with the mayhem. I say mayhem because at one point I had to crawl under a table to chase after a child and negotiated with another child, promising to let them push me in the pool, clothes and all, if they were quiet and patient. Yup, just a day in the life.

It was controlled chaos. And I LOVED IT! Everyone was doing a multitude of different things. We even had a background actor offer to work as a PA. At any given moment I was 1st AD, production coordinator, actress, child catcher, poop wrangler, continuity, set dec, producer, driver... I have never felt so thoroughly and completely exhausted in the best kind of way. Not gonna lie, waking up for my day job at 5:45am and knowing I had to work two jobs and wouldn't be home again until 9pm tonight was one of the hardest things I have ever done, but it was worth it. I've got to bank roll my dreams, even if it means my entire pay check for today is going directly toward parking and transportation from the past weekend.

T-minus 5 days...

We're into single digits in the countdown to our first shooting day. WHAT?!
No worries there's only about 80 billion things left to do between now and then. Including but not limited to:
- contracts and deal memos
- equipment acquisition (beg, borrow, rent)
- shot lists
- procuring the remaining props/costumes
- acquiring enough people to accomplish everything on shooting day (anyone want to help? turns out I only have two hands)
- call sheets


The list goes on and on.....


I'm incredibly lucky to have a remarkably talented, efficient and dedicated production team surrounding me. Bonus: we all have complementary talents and trust each other to get sh!t done in our own departments but allow and even welcome contributions and suggestions. Amazing, right? How often does that happen?


I just wish we had the time to sit in a room together as a group to coordinate and communicate because we're all multi-tasking 100% of the time and I'm never sure I have all the information I need to proceed. I think between the four of us we have twelve paying jobs and a multitude of other commitments.


I also have to learn my lines. Yikes! Luckily, I'm essentially myself and I wrote most of the lines so that should help but that is also going to make it more embarrassing if I mess up. Seriously, can't you picture it. Trish, the Head Writer, playing Tess, her alter-ego, can't remember and spit out her own thoughts. Can't wait... No pressure.


Did I mention I'm excited? Like can't sleep, it feels like Christmas Eve, excited? I've been dreaming about filming. Some dreams better than others, I'll admit. But I seriously can't wait to be back on set. We're a small crew and normally a pretty small cast, minus one day of shooting with 27 people, so it should move swiftly and efficiently. I just have to realize that things will go awry. I can't control everything and all I can do is hope I prepared enough and can make the right adjustments.


Can't. Freaking. Wait.


**Keep an eye out for our facebook page, Twitter feed, website and YouTube channel. this is whY is about to blow up your social media pages.**

Scheduling...

Breakdowns complete. I emphasize breakdowns (plural) because I have a character breakdown, assigning a number to each of our 67 named characters in the scripts; a location breakdown, which enumerates the number of locations we need and how many scenes occur in each space; the full script breakdown, in order, designating the characters, locations, page lengths, wardrobe and props for each scene; and the tentative shooting schedule, which takes all of those breakdowns and tries to synthesize the information so that shooting days can be assigned to shooting dates. And they're color coordinated.
This is where the scheduling process gets complicated. Like really complicated. Imagine trying to sync up 67 different schedules, not to mention crew, weather, day/night requirements. Then ensuring you have the locations for the right amount of time, uninterrupted, on the same days that your actors are available. Then you have to ensure you have equipment, wardrobe, and props for all the scenes you plan to tackle on a particular day, while trying to minimize all the stuff you have to haul around with you.

The hardest part is trying to minimize the number of times you have to call in a particular actor. We all have lives and I would hate to ruin your day by having you show up for a shooting day when it turns out you only have one line for the entire 7 pages we're trying to shoot. Big scheduling No-No.
You also have to try and keep your cast and crew in a single location on a shooting day and avoid company moves at all costs. Company move: in the middle of a shooting day you have to pack up all of your people and your sh!t and haul it across town to a second space. Not a good use of time, or resources. Plus it always takes longer than you expect to get shooting again. This is why films and shows are shot out of sequence.
Example: Let's say I have a script that jumps from the pool in real time to a studio in the city in flashback, then back to the pool in flashback, then returning to real time in the same location and the flashback scenes involve the main characters to be in the pool and wet, but the real time scenes they're dry. Confused yet? Other things to take into account, your pool location is only available for the first month of shooting. Solution: you film the real-time, dry pool scenes first even though chronologically it occurs after the flashback, followed by the flashback pool scene, so you don't have to wait for the actors to dry off. Then schedule a completely different shooting day in the city possibly months later and hopefully with other scenes from other episodes in the same location. This will give you the most efficient shooting schedule, but now you're shooting completely out of order. Yet another reason why a script supervisor is important. A scripty keeps track of what was worn when, who was in each scene, and which props need to be carried to the next location etc. But I digress.

You also don't want to try and tackle too much in a single day. Remember in my last post we talked about 1/8ths of a page? That's where this comes in. If there are 18 scenes happening on the pool deck, chances are you need multiple days in that location. Unless, each of those scenes are each one-line or a single action and only 1/8th of a page. You can totally knock-out 2 2/8ths of a page, provided there aren't major lighting/make-up/wardrobe changes. Hence the reason your breakdown includes a Day/Night (major lighting changes), wardrobe and props columns. Luckily, or maybe not so luckily depending on how you look at it, we aren't doing any crazy lighting. From a safety perspective you just can't have that much electricity near that much water. Pools and power don't mix. So we've deliberately chosen a more natural style, and thus can get a whole lot more pages done in a single day.
So I think I've managed it... I think. My head is throbbing and I've only gotten into the nuts and bolts for the first six shooting days but that basically includes 50 of our 67 characters, our most complicated location and about half the entire script. So provided all goes well (it probably won't so I'm prepared with multiple back-up plans) I'm pretty sure the schedule will stand without too much editing. I would just ask that anyone in any way connected to anyone involved in this project not schedule any important events like weddings, babies, birthdays, vacations, etc, that may change my actors' schedules. I just can't take any more. Seriously, though.

Breaking Down a Script

I would say that the scripts for our 12 episodes are approximately 92% complete/finished/edited. And we're about 85% cast for our 60+ roles. Call backs next week! Woot woot! We've also registered the series with the Writer's Guild of America and have applied to be a SAG/AFTRA union production. Sounds fancy, right? This is neither as fancy nor as glamorous as it sounds. It is a lot of paperwork with the primary goal of covering everyone's asses. This in itself is a ridiculous accomplishment. I have no idea how we've done it, especially when you take into account all the other stuff we have going on in our lives.


So I've taken off my writer's hat and my casting hat, for now, and I'm moving on to breaking down the script. So I've donned my scripty/production coordinator/line producer hat.
The combined scripts are over 100 pages and some have as many as 12 scenes. Granted some only last an 1/8th of a page but it still requires a location and a shotlist. Note: the industry standards are that script pages are broken down by 1/8ths of a page. So it's not 1.5 pages it's 12/8s or 1 4/8s. This helps with scheduling later. Breaking down the script means you are searching for the nuts and bolts. The scenes, the locations, the time of day, the characters, the page lengths, the props, wardrobe, sound effects.....

Basically, I read the scripts 6 or 7 times, each time focusing on something different in order to make sure every detail is accounted for and nothing is missed. I make copious notes in the margins of the script and translate that into reports for different department heads: 1st AD, Wardrobe, Set decoration, Props etc. The more diligent you are in breaking down the script, the better chance you have of being fully prepared on set. I'm super OCD so I love this. I even have to read/act out the script (somewhere quiet and secluded so people don't think I've cracked from the pressure) and time the duration of the script. This is most important for moments with Voice Over dialogue because you have to make sure you shoot enough footage to cover how long the lines will last. Think about it. Most VO will be recorded in a studio of some kind (professional or otherwise) and it probably won't happen for weeks after the shooting is over. How terrible would it be if it turns out the dialogue lasted 90 seconds and you only have 37 seconds of footage? What a waste of time and effort to do a reshoot, when you could've spent the time timing it months before!

If you look at my binder right now you will see colored pencil marks, arrows, circles, highlights, underlines... Everything has a meaning. Most of the time the notations are just to call attention to a particular part of the script. I circle the names of characters that appear so that we make sure to schedule them for those shooting days. Other times, they're more detailed. If a prop shows up in the last line of the scene, then I make a note of it in the beginning to make sure it is either placed in the setting by set decoration, given to the actor responsible for it to bring into the scene, or given to wardrobe to make sure the character is wearing it throughout the scene. You can't just have a prop appear out of nowhere at the end of the scene, cause you forgot. That's shoddy.

I worked on a movie where the actor's wrist watch was an integral part of the story's plot line. I needed to write on every scene where the watch was found, if he's wearing it or not, and what time the watch was supposed to read. Fun fact: most of the time the only reference to the watch is "ACTOR looks at watch". So I have to make it up using context clues. Is the character lefty or righty? Does this scene happen in the morning, evening, night? Are their other scenes that happen before or after? Did we already set the watch to a particular time in an earlier or later scene?
So when I break down the script I will sometimes make up arbitrary times in the margins of the scene. We may never refer to the time at all. But if there's a clock anywhere in the scene, it has to be correct. Note: clocks and time are the #1 screw up in rookie filmmaking, mostly because they don't hire scripties. Just saying.

It's a labor of love. I'll eventually circle back to editing the scripts with all the typos, formatting errors and continuity issues I find but right now I can't allow myself to get distracted by story arcs, through-lines and dialogue. Once I have all my reports written, I can start to combine scenes with similar characters and locations to create a shooting schedule. That's a whole other can of worms... I'll tell you about it next time. For now I have to get back to my 4th time through the scripts... Only three left! (Or six if I'm being super OCD.)

Everyone Has Problems

The world is full of problems. Everyone has them and it's incredibly easy to point them out, explain how they became problems and why you can't do something because of the problem. I've decided to see things a little differently. Search for solutions. I sounds cliched, I know. But if you see a problem as an end point rather than a conquerable obstacle then you're done. Game over.

I'm convinced that there is a gang of Hollywood ninjas who's job it is to make crazy shit happen to productions to see if they can handle it. Those who overcome, succeed. Those who fall prey are doomed. The list of crazy things that have happened on the sets I've been on is unfathomable. If most people were to look upon this list, I guarantee most people would throw up their hands and give up before they try.  You're location fell through day of a shoot, your DP got heat exhaustion and had to go to the hospital, an airport is 2 miles away and an airplane flies overhead every 45 seconds blowing your sound on any take longer than 35 seconds, it starts to rain in the middle of a pyrotechnics stunt. Not joking. Real life.


When I worked for the Discovery Channel and the Weather Channel we frequently laughed and said, "When reality gets in the way of reality TV..."

People are always looking for the answer to "Why?". Why me? Why now? Why is this happening? No answer will ever be satisfactory, except maybe "It's the Hollywood ninjas f***ing with us." I got to the point where I stopped searching for the answer and started looking for the solution. The fact is whatever happened, happened. The next step is not to investigate why it happened, (unless it can somehow be prevented in the future - Side bar: rain cannot be prevented, I have looked into this.), rather take the time to figure out a solution. One line of dialogue can be added to rectify an overnight blizzard that will screw up your continuity. Maybe it can be changed in post. (Note: do NOT, I repeat, do NOT rely on post, the editors and the budget will hate you.)


I have taken this approach in my every day life as well. Things happen. React appropriately. Don't take it personally. Also, get creative. Yes, you can make lemonade out of lemons, but what about limoncello? A lemon drop? A classic James Bond martini with a lemon twist? (It must be nearing 5 o'clock).

This is my current mantra, and I think it has been the key to getting my life in balance. At the risk of sounding like I'm auditioning to be a life coach, here's some advice. Stop getting in your way and seeing the problems. After college everything was a problem. I can't get a job. My friends moved away. I can't do this. I can't afford that. Blah blah blah. I did a lot of bitching. And I hear other people do it too.

24 hours in a day isn't a problem. Distance isn't a problem. Money isn't a problem (Pride is a problem, if you don't want to work a job that pays you money because you think it's beneath you, then you are not making limoncello. You have decided you can and will only make lemonade. Good luck with that.)
When I left the film industry originally, I needed money to pay for my loans and expenses, so I got a job. I was cutting open boxes in the basement of Macy's and peeling plastic off the new merchandise. I swallowed my pride and fixed the problem and eventually it led to another job, then another, etc.

I wanted to afford to go out, go to concerts, travel. Solution: Second job. I also get a free gym membership with it so saving money and staying healthy. Double whammy. 

I'm never around when the shows I want to watch are on. Solution: Netflix, DVR and OnDemand.

I like to read and never have time. Solution: I listen to audiobooks while I work, drive, shower and eat. 

I need to stay healthy. Solution: I'm active in my jobs, and stay after work to swim. Save myself the trip. I also eat well and sleep. (Yes, I do actually sleep. I make it a priority because without it nothing else gets done.)

My advice, find solutions, kill as many birds as you can with one stone and multitask where necessary. 

I've never been more happy because I'm overcoming obstacles and making myself happy. No one else is going to make you happy. Fight for it. Writing/producing/acting makes me happy. So I'm fighting for it.

The Agony and the Ecstasy (of Auditions)

If you've ever been to any kind of audition, or even a job interview, you know how stressful the whole process is. Well, try being the person who has to make the casting decision, the one who has to make dreams crumble. Not fun. I mean, it is because you're finally seeing your characters come alive and the production come together but sometimes you have to tell people they just aren't the right fit. And sometimes it's for really crappy reasons. (Disclaimer: We have not actually cast anyone yet, and these are not the real reasons for us casting or not casting a particular person. I'm making this up to show how completely ridiculous the process can be. Please don't hate me).


"I don't like their eyebrows."
OR
"They're not as tall as I expected that character to be."
OR
"Would this character really date this person?"
OR
"They're too perfect."


That's right. You can be black, white, brown, red-headed, blonde, brunette, skinny, fat, average.... and too perfect.


Have you ever read a book and pictured the characters, then when they made a tv/movie version you hated it purely because of casting? Now imagine you wrote the book and you can't find the character you pictured in real life. The struggle is real. Production has to start, you have to pick someone, and somehow you will always be disappointing someone. The fact that this is a no-pay project also cuts down on the candidates so you may find the absolute perfect person and they might not want to do it.


Bonus!! The union. Let's take an already staggeringly difficult process and add a union. I understand the benefits for all involved. I do. I, myself, looked into getting into IATSE for script supervision back in the day. The problem I have is the incredible complexities involved in the paperwork! Do I submit it now before I cast in order to get SAG/AFTRA performers to audition? Or do I wait, see if I need anyone from the union and do it later? Well, when you submit, they ask for a cast list, so that's confusing. And the help line doesn't specify when to do it. They're just generally vague and only slightly helpful. Holy misnomer Batman. How bout "The-only-slightly-helpful-desk"?

This part is not fun!! I just magically want the perfect people to sign on and be done with it! Is that so much to ask?


We started our casting by reaching out to friends and connections from previous work. Thank you social media. And we got some really strong responses. But this is a number's game; the more you have the better the options, right? Actually sometimes more is just more. Like in this case. We posted on two sites last Friday. Two. That's it. Number of responses as of this morning? Over 2,000. Not. Even. Exaggerating.


For someone who loves to swim and to teach swimming, it is weird to feel like you're drowning. The only thing you can do is start cutting. It's pretty obvious when someone is not the right fit, so they're gone. Ruthlessness is tough, but at this point it's survival. All those feelings of guilt and just feelings in general are now a liability. You have to cut until it's merely manageable. And it's all based on headshots at first. I have never felt so superficial. I get why Hollywood and casting directors get a bad rep for being cold and heartless. That's how I feel. The worst part? As I cull through all the photos, I'm starting not to feel. Like these are just photos and not photos of people anymore. And this is just from 3 days!! As I sit here writing this, I now feel guilty about not feeling guilty. So many feels and yet, not enough.


I'm starting to compartmentalize my different roles. You have to in order to maintain sanity and perform each role properly. Producer Trish is cold-hearted, slightly Scrooge-like and level-headed. The stakes are highest here. Production decisions must be made and schedules need to start being created. Writer Trish is much more emotional. She gets all warm and fuzzy when a casting tape comes in with someone doing justice to the dialogue she wrote. Scripty Trish is where I'm most comfortable. There's logic and fact involved. This is not about making decisions, it's about stating fact. And we haven't even gotten to Actor Trish. Yes, I'm acting. Luckily, I play me and I'm doing pretty well at that, given I have 27 years to draw on. I'm also pretty glad that Actor Trish doesn't have to audition for Producer Trish cause she can be mean and I might cut me.


I'm so conflicted. Excuse me while I return to my real job and focus on something so wholly unrelated to this struggle. There are mindless crafts to be created.

Writing is Hard

Believe me, the irony of writing about how hard it is to write does not escape me.
Seriously though, trying to write a television show and a blog while holding down two jobs is draining. And daunting. What ideas or stories do I think I could possibly write that could entertain and amuse, and that haven't already been written? No pressure, right? The worst part is that you're limited only by your own imagination. These characters that you've created can be anything, do anything and say anything, so long as it doesn't surpass the audience's suspension of reality and is somehow rooted in truth.

There's an internet's worth of forums, formats and formulas for writing: rules to follow or how to properly break them, strategies to get your creativity flowing, schedules to keep to deadlines, tips to get what you've written read. It's crazy how much writing I've read in order to write (say that five times fast)

The fact is people want to be entertained and they don't want that entertainment interrupted by reality. Anything from a continuity mistake to some wholly unbelievable plot twist is going to make people quit reading, change the channel or click another video. Luckily, I think this is where I have an edge.

For two years all I did was read scripts and poke holes in them. Some of my notes were taken to heart, others were completely ignored and usually to the detriment of the production *pats self of back. 
Side bar: For anyone looking to produce anything, this is the reason you hire script supervisors. I know we don't seem as important as the camera or sound or lighting, but we are an invaluable, sometimes intangible, asset to any production. Please don't ask me why I'm important, if you don't know you're production is already in trouble. And if any of my crew friends are on a shoot without a scripty, don't expect the production to go far. I'm not gloating, every production needs someone who has eyes on everything at all times to monitor the level of reality your creating. No script is a pretty evident indication that your production team is a) clueless, b) cutting corners, c) not worried about real quality. Just saying. (I am aware how self-promoting this sounds. Just remember I'm not actually in the biz anymore so this is not an attempt to pump myself up, more of a public service announcement).

Then I would get on set with this script I've poked holes in and would act as the Reality Police to guard against any crazy that could pull the audience out of the story. License plates that are from New York City when we're set in California. Clothes, cars, or technology that don't exist in the 1980s. Reflections of the crew in the main characters sunglasses. Making sure the actor actually looks like they're playing the cello when in fact they are not. Ensuring actors have taken out their earring before shooting because their character wouldn't wear one. (Apparently, six or seven times in this film they do because you're forgetful and stubborn.)


Now, when I'm writing I know where the pitfalls lie and I can (hopefully) avoid them before we even get to the production part of it. Granted when you're on a roll and the ideas are coming faster than you can type, sometimes it requires a second or third read-through or a second set of eyes (Thanks Kate) to find these minute errors.

Some times things are not in the script and inferences must be made by the script supervisor before shooting in order to make the product maintain the integrity of the story. Scripts are written for interpretation. Any script that comes right out and says everything is amateur. Actors and directors should be given leeway to add their talents to the end product. Scripts shouldn't give the characters intent, exact stage directions or camera angles. That's not the writer's job. If you're that much of a control freak and require your script to be an exact replica of what you've written, produce it yourself. And if you're a crazy perfectionist like myself, you can write, produce, script supervise, and act in it. Just make sure that each job is done individually and that you write as the writer and not as the actor.

Easy things to miss or get lost in:

•  time line: how much time passes within an episode, between scenes or between episodes
• props: where do they come from, where do they end up, do they follow into another scene
• entrances and exits: in order to show progress characters needs to travel across the screen in a single direction, so if they exit camera right, they have to enter camera left. Otherwise, the audience perceives them as lost and bouncing back and forth.
• costumes: do the scenes happen in the same day? if so, did they change outfits for some reason? Is there an accessory, like a watch, that the character wears in a particular scene that they should be wearing the whole time?
• dialogue: people need to look like they're talking to each other. Ever heard of 'crossing the 180' this is it. (see pictures)

See? Looks like they're talking to each other. But what if she was facing the other direction?


Not so much anymore. Who knows what they're looking at.

Granted, most of these things are going to come up on set, but they need to be considered beforehand. If you do not have an answers to these questions you will not fair well.

Anyway, back to writing. After much research and discussion, we've opted for 12 (used to be 13) episodes, approximately 10 minutes long. It's a comedy. And it's about us. So luckily not too much research or in-depth character analysis in needed. We'll leave that to the therapy I obviously need.
 I'm sure many people are aware, but comedy is harder to write and act, then tragedy. If you've done your job and the audience have connected to your characters, then killing them will be tragic and emotional, every time. On the other hand, not everyone is going to laugh. Like ever. Some people will laugh at everything, even things you didn't expect were funny. Some people are more discerning. And then there are the people that just will not laugh. You have to expect that. You will not please everyone. Some people like cheap, blue or dirty humor. Some people like educated, detail-oriented, subtle humor. The best you can hope for is that most people were at least mildly entertained and forget everyone else.

I have presented papers and projects in school. I have sang in recitals and at karaoke. I even had to choreograph and perform a solo dance in front of the football team for a college class. Nothing is more nerve-wracking to me then someone reading a script I've written. Especially, right in front of me. Anytime Kate reads something I'm in total panic mode. Luckily she gets my humor and likes most of my writing and she laughs. Out loud. It's a total rush. I never knew. And now I'm hooked. So read on, readers. I hope you're laughing.

Resurrection

I thought this chapter was over. I thought the door had been closed, locked and deadbolted behind me. I had had a good run but I couldn’t take it. It’s not that I wasn’t good at the work, it was that my life wasn’t my own. Every minute not working was spent looking for work or feeling guilty about not looking, because you never know when that next gig may pop up or that next connection may come through.

Two years ago, after working for three weeks on what should have been my most professional, highest paying script supervisor jobs, I got cheated. I was not paid for my three weeks of work on that project, nor has anyone else I understand. Despite court rulings and subpoenas, I’m still without the money due to me. (This is a whole other story in itself and a long one at that). So I walked away. How can I continue to work and devote my time and energy day after day with no money? That’s how dreams die. And I thought mine had.

Luckily, about that time a new dream was found, so I didn’t have time to mourn the loss of the old one. I’ve been working the last two years in the Visual Department at Macy’s. Or as I refer to it Art and Crafts for Adults, or Retail Production Design. Plus when you’re five months away from being kicked off your parent’s medical insurance, benefits sound like a dream, and a good one.

I now have work/life balance, stability, a social life (I know, crazy right?); I’m actually saving money and being a real life adult. Sure I live with my parents and work two jobs, but these days, who doesn’t? Bottom line: My life is mine and I’m happy. No kidding. I don’t miss family events, weddings or college reunions because I have to be on set. I don’t have to turn down plans because I can’t afford a night out. I get to go on vacation. Like real ones. And get PAID! Side bar: if you have never had vacations days you will never understand the glory of sitting poolside in the Dominican Republic drinking frozen margaritas and getting PAID. I hope everyone has a chance to experience this at least once in their life. Pure bliss.

And yet, something was missing. I didn’t realize it for awhile but no matter how many ninja stars from clothes hangers I made, or tissue paper flowers I created, there was a hole that couldn’t be filled.

Six months ago, Kate, my coworker from the Y where I teach, had an idea. We had realized that a vast majority of us were working at the Y because of it’s flexibility. It allows us to make good money when we need to and drop shifts for conflicts. That was because many of us were pursuing others dreams during our real lives but we needed this job to bankroll it. Actress, director, scientist, carpenter, architect. We’re a group of major over achievers who have picked seriously difficult industries to break into and somehow swinging drinks on weekends was just not going to cut it for us. So we teach kids life skills and we save lives. And this is just our side jobs. Like I said, over achievers.

The idea was that we combine our talents and make our own show. Even if nothing comes from it, it will be fun and we will gain experience and have something to show for it. The concept for this show? Us. And on a bigger scale, Millennials. A comedic portrayal of our experiences and how they either crush or reinforce all the stereotypes of generation Y.

I’m not going to lie. I wasn’t just hesitant at the prospect of such a project, I was against it. I felt like she was unknowingly opening a wound that had just scabbed over. I started by blowing her off. Then as she persisted I asked questions.

“So who do you plan to get to write this?”

“Us.”

“I don’t write” except for a blog a couple of years ago and a password protected journal that no one will ever read.

“Why not?” Damn, good question.

And who’s going to be in it?”

“All of us. Plus anyone else who wants to be involved. There have to be a ton of actors and crew members that are dying to be a part of something fun and well written.” Crap! Another good answer. My facebook is filled with old connections from the business who would relish a chance like this.

She had all the answers to shut me down and as a result, the wheels in my head that had begun to rust, started to turn again. Ideas, scenes, and characters started to form in my mind and soon more people showed interest and were involved. And I started to write. LIttle by little that  hole I hadn’t even recognized, was starting to be filled. I don’t know at what point I really signed on and started to fight for this like Kate had from the beginning, but it was probably the first time someone said “No”.

We wanted to be on the up-and-up with our place of employment, because we’re stand up employees and we didn’t want to guerrilla shoot a show about them, on their own property without their knowledge. Looking back, asking permission instead of forgiveness was not the best course of action, because they said, “No.” Yet, that just spurred me on.

So now it’s written. 10 out of 13 episodes are just about production ready and we’re casting. It’s real, but the best part is that it’s on my timeframe. I do this when I want to, when I need that creative outlet or the ideas won’t stay in my head anymore. And that door that I thought I had deadbolted two years ago is wide open and I’ve stepped through it.

If anyone would like more information about the show, including casting, or if you would like to be a part of the production, feel free to contact me or email thisiswhyproduction@gmail.com. And be sure to come back and read the blog for updates on the production.